A Thousand Miles
by Glittering Pegasus
Summary: Song fic. It takes place right after Sydney destroys the Circumference and meets her mother. Now she's returning to L.A. with her thoughts on only one thing...or person.(Part 2 added!)
1. A Thousand Miles

Disclaimer- Alias was created by JJ Abrams. Nothing in this story was made up by me unless you count the clerk at the airport. The Song "A Thousand Miles" is by Vanessa Carlton. 

A/N: This is my first and possibly only song fic. To be honest I've never really been a huge fan of writing them (I like reading them, though) but when I was listening to this song the other day it suddenly hit me how perfect it was for an Alias fic. So, enjoy :-)

**_*Making my way downtown_**

**_Walking fast_**

**_Faces pass_**

**_And I'm homebound*_**

**_            I pounded down the busy streets of Taipei, trying to fight back merciless tears. Every face I saw reminded me of Vaughn, who just a few hours ago was alive and well. I sighed shakily and headed to the airport. _**

**_*Staring blankly ahead_**

**_Just making my way_**

**_Making a way_**

**_Through the crowd*_**

**_            Pushing through the bustles of people outside the airport, I made it to the desk and said, in the clerk's language, "11:30 flight to Los Angeles. Standby."_**

            "Are you okay, Miss?" the attendant asked at seeing me staring of into space. I nodded, my thoughts still distant.

            Vaughn…

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**_CHORUS- _**

**_*And I need you_**

**_ And I miss you_**

**_And now I wonder_**

**_If I could fall_**

**_Into the sky_**

**_Do you think time_**

**_Would pass me by?_**

**_Cause you know I'd walk a thousand miles_**

**_If I could just see you…tonight.*_**

**_            How could I go on without him? And he never even knew…I never got the chance to tell him. I loved him. It was against the rules, but who the Hell cared? How could it be prevented? Now, standing there, I wondered if I had gotten the chance to, would I have told him? If I could turn back the clocks? Not that it matters. It's not possible. But at this point I would've tried anything to hear his sweet voice again._**

**_*It's always times like these_**

**_When I think of you_**

**_And I wonder _**

**_If you ever think of me.*_**

**_            I took the ticket and headed off to the gate to board. Lifting my chin, I saw the line of little shops and restaurants lining the airport hallways. Another tear ran down my cheek as I tore my vision of the painful reminders that had caught my eye. A Slush-O stand, a pizza shop, and a sports merchandise store. In the window display was a sweatshirt. A hockey sweatshirt with the name "HOWE" printed on the back. Vaughn idolized Gordie Howe. He said he was the greatest hockey player who ever lived. Thinking of him and remembering him, I wondered if he would've felt the same pain and grief if I had died. Did he… had he felt the same way about me as I felt about him? Had he ever loved me?_**

            **__**

**_*Cause everything's so wrong_**

**_And I don't belong_**

**_Living in_**

**_Your precious memory.*_**

**_            Nothing made sense anymore. My world was falling apart and it had me to blame. My mother is "The Man." My best friend has been dragged into the Hell I'd worked so hard to protect him from. The man I loved was dead. All because of me. I didn't deserve to see Vaughn again anyway. _**

**_(Chorus again)_**

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**_*And I, I don't wanna let you know_**

**_I, I drown in your memory_**

**_I, I don't wanna let this go_**

**_I, I've fallen…*_**

**_            I hurried past the shops and symbols of Vaughn to the gate. Visions and memories still plagued my mind. Visions of Vaughn…Michael, struggling in the water, knowing the end was near and me powerless to stop it. I knew Vaughn wouldn't want me to live like this. He would want me to move on and forget him. But he wasn't around to find out that I couldn't, was he? Besides, I didn't want to forget him. How could I? Still, the sadness had gotten to me and I felt like I could collapse at any moment. _**

**_*Making my way downtown_**

**_Walking fast_**

**_Faces pass _**

**_And I'm homebound._**

**_Staring blankly ahead_**

**_Making my way_**

**_Making a way_**

**_Through the crowd.*_**

**_            As I headed down the jet aisle to my row, I felt everyone's eyes on me. I knew what they saw. I strange, lonely looking girl with electric blue hair, her eyes pink and swollen and her mascara running. At least I had found a change of clothes from that stripper look, but I'd forgotten about the wig. Damn. No one asked me what was wrong, but it wasn't hard to see that it had to do with a man. I tried to smile faintly and sat down, gazing out the window. _**

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**_*And I still need you._**

**_ And I still miss you._**

**_And now I wonder…_**

**_If I could fall into the sky_**

**_Do you think time would pass me by?_**

**_Cause you know I'd walk a thousand miles_**

**_If I could just see you…tonight. _**

**_If I could fall into the sky_**

**_Do you think time would pass me by?*_**

**_            Could there be life without Vaughn? A question I had never needed to ask before. I knew I couldn't dwell on this forever. Forever's a long time, and this was just one night. If I was like this on my first night without him, how would I get through the rest of my life? Watching the buildings shrink below me and the vast, blue black sky grow, I very briefly considered what it would be like to jump. Then I wouldn't have to wait a lifetime…_**

**_*Cause you know I'd walk a thousand miles_**

**_If I could just see you…_**

**_If I could just hold you…*_**

**_            Five hours later, I awoke on the plane to find that we had landed and I was back in L.A. My eyes were still partially glued shut with tears and sleep, and my vision was still blurred. I took a deep breath and stood, stretching and rubbing my pained joints. During my sleep and dreams I had realized, life could go on. And I could handle being patient to see him again. He was worth the wait. But just as I was leaving the plane, someone exiting right behind me placed a hand on my shoulder. "Sydney…"_**

            I turned slowly, catching my breath. I shuttered in happiness and disbelief at what I saw.

**_*Tonight…*_**

**_            Somehow, though it didn't matter at that moment, he had found me. He was alive to watch over me still. My guardian angel, tonight and forever. _**

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A/N: hehe. Cute? Tell me what you think. Also, kudos to anyone who can find the movie connection in this fic. What I mean is, what was mentioned that also was mentioned in a movie starring one of the characters? (hint- It's a Michael Vartan movie)

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	2. Crash and Burn

**Disclaimer: Umm… Alias is the creation of JJ Abrams and Bad Robot and ABC… well, it's the creation of a lot of people but I'm not one of them. Don't sue me. Lol. Crash and Burn is a great song but again, but not mine. It belongs to ****Savage****Garden****. **

**A/N: Just a song fic that I wrote as a 2nd part to A Thousand Miles. I thought this song was perfect. I might write a part three, depending on if I get a lot of feedback. ;-)**

**Archive: I'd love it. Just send a link to the site**

**Thanks- Everyone who reviews (unless they flame. Lol) and as always, Shannon (alias angel) for your help**

**Crash and Burn (sequel to 1,000 miles)**

       A day after I'd returned from Taipei with Sydney, I was still exhausted. I couldn't rid myself of the image that had, only 24 short hours ago, been a reality. My mind dimming, images around me fading, my lungs gasping for air.... But I'd almost forgotten my brush with death when I saw Sydney's eyes light up and her face break out into a brilliant smile when she saw me on the plane, alive.

**_When you feel all alone_**

**_And the world has turned its back on you_**

**_Give me a moment please_**

**_To tame your wild, wild heart._**

       Now, I sat alone in my apartment, thinking about how much I cared about her and whether she had the same feeling, or if she cared about me only as a friend. Like Dixon...or Will. Unless she did have feelings for Will. Please, no.

       As if planned or timed, the phone suddenly rang out through the silence. 

       "Vaughn."

       "Hi. Can we meet?"

       My heart was pained when I heard the shake in her voice, as though she'd been crying. 

       "Sure." We hung up. 

       What was wrong? I raced as fast as I could to the warehouse to find out, wanting so badly to help her.

**_I know you feel like the walls are closing in on you_**

**_It's hard to find relief and people can be so cold_**

**_When darkness is upon your door and you feel like you can't take anymore..._**

       "Sydney, what's wrong?"  I asked softly as she bit her lip, her warm, beautiful brown eyes glistening with restrained tears. 

       "Vaughn...I just feel like... I feel like I... oh, I can't stand this!" still not looking up at me, she paused to blink back the tears, too strong to let them fall. "I came home, so incredibly happy that you were alive. Still wondering if it was all just some wonderful dream, thinking that with you still here, nothing could go wrong."

       She stopped again and I caught my breath and tried desperately not to let myself turn pink after what she'd just said. 

       "But, somehow, it did. When I got home, it really was like I'd waken from a dream and was now faced with reality. I saw Will... you can't imagine... bruised and bloody and scarred and his teeth missing.... I found out that Emily was dead... that son of a bitch bastard killed his own wife... how can people be such assholes? Torturing for no reason... killing.... I just can't understand it..."

**_Let me be the one you call_**

**_If you jump I'll break your fall_**

**_Lift you up and fly away with you into the night._**

**_If you need to fall apart_**

**_I can mend a broken heart_**

**_If you need to crash then crash and burn_**

**_You're not alone._**

       "Anyway, I...I'm sorry for calling. I know I disrupted that Kings' game that's on tonight that I'm sure you were watching. But I just needed to talk to someone. Will's great, especially now that I don't have to lie to him. But I'm sure he doesn't want to talk. He can barely move his mouth after that torture..."

       At the mention of Will's torture, her eyes welled up again. I felt a pang of jealousy but I forced it aside. Sydney really needed me now. 

       "Syd, you don't need to apologize for calling me. Ever. I've told you that. I gave you my number for a reason."

       She tried to smile and slowly sat down on a wooden crate. "Yeah, but you probably didn't expect me to be calling 24/7 to "session" with me. I know you're not a therapist, but you're the closest I've got. You're the only one I can really talk to and I'm grateful for that. I don't know what I'd do without you... thank you." The tears she'd been fighting forced their way down her cheek. 

       "Syd, everything will be okay..."

       She shook her head and got up silently. Then, throwing her arms around me, she cried freely, letting the teardrops fall. She didn't let go. 

       "It's okay...its okay..." I whispered, hoping she believed.

**_When you feel all alone_**

**_And a loyal friend is hard to find_**

**_You're caught in a one way street_**

**_With the monsters in your head_**

**_When hopes and dreams are far away and_**

**_You feel like you can't face the day..._**

       When she managed to stop the flow of tears, she slowly pulled out of the hug. "Vaughn...will it ever end? This...this torture...Hell? Will I ever be free? And Dixon... my father... Marshall...you.... now Will? I've been doing this two years now. When will SD-6 be just a bad memory?"

       I put my hand on her shoulder. "Sydney....honestly....I don't know. I wish I did. And I wish I could help you more. But...Sydney, I don't know what else to do."

       She touched my arm gently and used her other hand to wipe away a remaining tear.

       "Vaughn... Michael, you've done more than enough. These past two years you've been one of my best friends. Just knowing you're here to talk to is the greatest thing you could do for me."

       "I am."

**_Because there's always been darkness and pain_**

**_And when it's over you'll breathe again_**

**_You'll breathe again._**

       "I wish I'd never gotten into this mess..." Sydney muttered. 

       "Syd, you can overcome this. You're just in a bad spot. Your best friend was tortured; your other friend was killed by her asshole husband. I almost died. Your mother came back. You're just in a bad spot. But if you'll be the incredible, strong woman I know... you'll- you'll get through this." How could I have just almost admitted my feelings? Damn, Michael. Don't go getting yourself killed. This won't work. 

       She smiled a little. I was so glad I could make her happy. 

       Quietly, she replied, "Damn it, Vaughn. My whole career was a bad spot. But I take it back. I don't wish I had never gotten into this. If I hadn't, I wouldn't have met you." She smiled wider and touched my hand. I almost jerked back my hand in response to the electric buzz her touch initiated. I smiled back and look down, holding myself up and praying my knees wouldn't buckle. 

**_When you feel all alone_**

**_And the world has turned its back on you_**

**_Give me a moment please_**

**_To tame your wild, wild heart_**

       "Sydney..." I began slowly. Now was the time to tell her. I felt it. 

       "Yeah?"

       "I...I... I know you'll be okay. And I don't want you to forget that I'm always here for you." I couldn't bring myself to say the words I truly wanted to confess.

       "I won't forget. Thank you, Vaughn." She squeezed my hand.

       That should've calmed me, made me happy. But it made me angry. Reminded me of how I could never tell her my true feelings for fear of us both being killed.

       I cursed under my breath. She heard and pulled her hand back in surprise. 

       "What? What's wrong?" she asked her tone full of concern. Amazing. Here she was, crying, upset, depressed. I was supposed to help her. But as soon as her blurry vision cleared and the tears dried from her face, she was the one trying to comfort me. 

       "It...It's just not right," I murmured. 

       "What?"

       "You realize that just for being in here right now, we could both be murdered? I can't stand it. Not being able to be honest with you." 

       Her eyes were on me, locking with mine. "We are. We tell each other everything, don't we?" She took my hand again. I didn't pull away. 

       I shook my head sadly. "No..."

**_Let me be the one you call_**

**_If you jump I'll break your fall_**

**_Lift you up and fly away with you into the night_**

**_If you need to fall apart_**

**_I mend a broken heart_**

**_If you need to crash then crash and burn..._**

       I didn't need to say anything more. She understood. I saw it in her perfect, caring eyes. She knew, in that brief moment, she discovered what I'd been holding in. But whether she returned it, what her feelings were about her realization, I couldn't say. Her eyes would give away nothing else. 

       "Oh, Vaughn..." she sighed, resting her other hand on my arm but not letting go of my hand.

       "Michael," I muttered, barely audible. But she heard. 

       "Michael. I want you know I'm here for you, too. Always."     

       Now it was my turn to be grateful. 'That um... that means so much...coming from you." 

       She grinned, the puffiness around her eyes fading and her face becoming bright and happy once again. "Good to know we always have each other."

       "Yeah, it is."

       With that, smiled and very quickly, so fast that I wasn't sure if I had imagined it or not, she kissed me on the mouth, but another glance in her hypnotizing eyes and I knew it was real. And that the feeling was returned. In that split second, dreamlike gesture, I discovered that she loved me too. 

**_...You're not alone._**

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End file.
